All I Wanted Was A Kip
by Krazee Kaz
Summary: Smithy is annoyed with his new neighbour, who has problems of his own and decides to take drastic action with devastating consequences. London’s Burning The Bill fic.


**LONDON'S BURNING**

**All I Wanted Was A Kip**

Heavy bass and madly strummed guitars followed by a load of yelling, which somehow was classed as singing, shook the tower block. From outside it probably seemed to shimmer with vibrations as if it was made of paper. For those who inhabited the flats, it might as well be. If he thought the section house was bad, it was nothing compared to the racket he'd endured since moving in to Cardboard City, from one neighbour in particular who didn't seem capable of stringing together a sentence never mind managing a civil word!

Smithy knocked, or rather blasted, at the door in an attempt to catch the attention of the noise polluter. The occupier, or squatter as he probably was, threw open the door, annoyed at having his daily routine of doing nothing interrupted by an off duty police constable.

"Do ya mind!" Smithy yelled over the pounding music. "Some of us 'ave bin workin' all night and would like to get some kip!"

The guy, Dean, wearing nothing but a white bath towel, just laughed at him. "What?" he asked, pretending not to hear the request.

"Turn it down!" Smithy remained polite, but he didn't know how long that would last!

"Piss off," Dean was about to slam the door, but Smithy stuck his foot in first.

"What you gonna do pig?" Dean mocked. "Arrest me!"

"If ya insist yeah!"

"Oooh I'm quaking in my invisible boots!"

"I've tried askin' ya and now I'm tellin' ya! Turn that stuff off, I've heard better noise comin' from the carsie!"

Some people just wouldn't be told.

"Screw you!" Dean yelled as Smithy retreated to his own cupboard, which the architects liked to refer to as a flat.

* * *

The first shout of the shift had taken them to a roof fire on Floodferry Lane. There was nothing suspicious about it, and Smithy found himself on crowd control as Cass Rickman occupied herself with chatting to one of the firefighters, who in Smithy's opinion looked like a right Jessie in his burgundy costume. He stopped a woman from crossing into the danger area, only to find out that she owned the house, what was left of it anyway. 

The guy in charge of the fire crew, in his forties with a Bristol accent, introduced himself as Watch Commander Pearce, with emphasis on his title so that no one would have any doubts as to who was in charge! He reckoned the fire had been caused by the stuff that was being stored in the attic and preceded to give the woman a lecture.

Excitement over, the streets residents has resided back to their homes, some twitching the curtains occasionally to check for further developments. Smithy decided it was time for Cass to do some work as she shared a joke with the Jessie.

"I don't make a habit of dating coppers you know," the Jessie was telling her as Smithy made a move to invade their conversation. "It's bad for the image!" he grinned.

"Oh yeah?" Cass asked. "What image would that be!"

He just grinned as Smithy joined them. "Is this a private party or can anyone join in!"

Cass felt an introduction was in order. "Smithy, this is Adam," she introduced him to the beaming Jessie. "Adam, this is Smithy, my colleague."

Smithy just nodded an acknowledgement, not wishing to speak to a man who wore purple for a living.

"Are we gonna get back to the nick?" he moaned. "I'm starvin'!"

Cass wasn't happy at being dragged away from her flirtation. "Yeah in a minute."

"I'll wait in the car."

"What's his problem?" the Jessie asked as Smithy walked away.

He slowed to catch Cass's reply. "Perhaps he's jealous! Now about this date…"

Jealous! Nah, maybe his foul mood was down to the lack of sleep! The fault of a so-called neighbour who only cared about himself and didn't spare a thought for others! It was early evening as Smithy waited for Cass to finish arranging her social life with Jessie, or whatever his name was.

Smithy wanted to look at his watch, to make a point, but then realised that he didn't have his watch on him! That would be the mad rush he was in to get to work on time, after catching a couple of hours kip when Little Hitler went out to sign on.

Talking of the scumbag, Dean came tearing round the corner, as usual without a thought for anyone else, and slammed right into Smithy! Dean fell backwards.

"Oi, watch were yer goin'!" Smithy loomed over him, not best pleased at being annoyed twice in one day by the same little jerk. "Oh it's you."

The feeling was mutual as Dean picked himself up. Smithy noticed a small scratch on his face.

"Bin in the wars 'ave ya?" he commented.

"You ain't got any evidence!" Dean blurted out.

"I'm sure we could find some!"

Dean decided not to stick around for Smithy to unearth any evidence, which might or might not be lying around. He scarpered. Smithy didn't bother to chase him as Cass came over.

"Who was that?" she asked.

"Just some prat. Come on, I wanna get back to me flat."

"I thought you were starving?"

"I was, but I've got to rescue me decent gear before that little tea leaf gets 'is 'ands on it!" Smithy trusted Dean about as far as he could fly.

He was sure the man made his living from robbing other people and he wasn't prepared to become a target.

* * *

Hyper shook his head as Adam returned from chatting up some copper bird. He was grinning from ear to ear. 

"Which unlucky lady is it this time?" Hyper inquired.

Adam tried to look innocent, but failed dramatically.

"I thought you didn't date coppers?" Hyper asked.

"Well I can make an exception!"

"So are you going to see her?"

"Nah, mate she isn't my type!" Adam left the remark unexplained as he went to pack some equipment away, still grinning ridiculously like a Cheshire cat!

* * *

At the block of paper flats, of which more living space was gained in length rather than height, Smithy started his search for his watch as Cass had a nosey around the space which had recently become his home. And not for very much longer if he could help it! He was further antagonised by some muppet shouting outside. Cass went to investigate. 

From the fifth floor balcony, she could see a young woman standing in the car park below. Her frantic cries told the whole neighbourhood that she was looking for Dean. Smithy briefly explained about his neighbour and refused point blank to help! Cass went to have a word. After getting no reply from Dean's flat, she went downstairs to talk to the woman.

"What's going on?"

"I'm looking for Dean," the woman replied in a more friendly tone than she had been yelling in previously. "Only I've got something of his," she parted her long jacket to reveal a rounded baby bump in her stomach.

"He's not in," Cass told her. "Well he wasn't answering his door anyway."

"Oh he's there," the woman knew. "I was banging on that door myself not long before you arrived."

"Are you his girlfriend?" Cass enquired.

The woman laughed. "Hardly! Dean doesn't know the meaning of the word steady, unless it's used in connection with his appliance! He's just an unfortunate acquaintance, but I'm determined to get some money out of him for this!"

* * *

Adam and Hyper brought the ALP back to Blackwall, the others had been called out on another shout. Adam tried to set up a game of pool, but Hyper, feeling sorry for himself, had hijacked the white ball and was now rolling it off the green cushions at the side of the table.

"It's not about chatting up women you know."

Adam searched the table for the black ball, which seemed to have gone missing. "What isn't?"

"Firefighting."

Adam frowned, the black ball, he discovered, had got stuck in the automated tray under the table. He gave it a whack to release it, then stood up. "What?"

Hyper just sighed.

"It's only a casual drink" Adam tried to brush off his "date" as everyone else liked to refer to it as.

"Does she know that?"

"Yeah" he paused. "What's with the sudden interest in my love life anyway?"

"Just so I can warn her!"

Adam grinned and took the white ball from him. "We need that!"

Hyper then picked up the blue chalk cube instead as Adam finished setting up the table.

"Do you want to go out for a drink sometime?" Hyper plucked up the courage to approach the subject.

"It's not about chatting up blokes either!"

"I meant as mates!"

But Adam was grinning at the success of his wind up as he made a break on the pool balls. "Yeah I saw you looking at my arse!"

"I was not!"

"I thought I'd warned you about that!" he was still grinning, flattered by the attention but not taking it seriously.

Hyper, however, failed to see any funny side and threw the chalk across the room in frustration. "I can't help it if all the guys I like are married or straight!"

Adam went to rescue the chalk, which had now broken into several small fragments. "You do know this was our only piece of chalk!"

"Can't I even ask a bloke out as mates?"

"Is that a good idea? You wouldn't want to spark off a gossip chain."

"Is that a no then?"

"I've got my hands full with all these fit chicks who keep throwing themselves at me!" Adam started joking again.

Hyper sighed.

"I'll tell you what" Adam offered. "Why don't you let the Benjamin Matchmaking Service sort you out with a dream date?"

"Um.. no I don't think so" Hyper wasn't too sure about blind dates, they never seemed to agree with him.

"Come on, what have you got to loose?"

"My sanity!"

Adam grinned. "I think you lost that a long time ago, mate!" he handed the pool cue over. "It's your shot."

* * *

At the flats, the woman was becoming hysterical at not getting an answer from Dean, despite yelling the neighbourhood down until she was practically blue in the face. She was all for the police kicking the door in, but Cass pointed out that Dean hadn't committed a crime. None that she knew of anyway. Smithy was also seeing red when he discovered his watch missing, he too was ready to bash Dean's door down. Cass reminded him that he would then have to explain his actions to Sergeant Ackland and Inspector Monroe who would be far from impressed with his cavalier attitude. 

Smithy went back to his flat to conduct another search, while in the car park, Cass tried to send the woman on her way before the situation got out of control, but the woman refused to leave.

While everyone was occupied elsewhere, Dean took his chance to sneak out of the flat. Carrying a blue holdall, he made his getaway from the scene. He had barely left the stairwell when the ground shook with the force of an almighty explosion. He glanced up to see a ball of bright orange flame erupt from the roof of his top floor flat. He grinned and made his escape as shards of glass plunged down to Earth.

* * *

Adam and Hyper had once again been called to the East End where there had been reports of a fire and explosion at a block of flats. The arrived to find an inferno, the cause of which thought to be gas. The explosion had ripped through the flats, gobbling everything in its path. From the height of the ALP platform, Hyper caught an aerial view of the destruction, which had rippled vertically as well as horizontally. 

Through the thick smoke he noticed something and directed Adam to lower the cage for a closer look. On further inspection, it turned out to be a body lying in the rubble, which had once been a flat of four walls. Hyper carefully positioned the cage and dragged the man to safety. Back on the ground, he realised they had been too late.

Fleets of emergency vehicles had arrived on the scene. Cass was worried about Smithy, who, after raging around the fifth floor looking for Dean, had sloped off back to his own flat. Bodies were being pulled out of the wreckage like raffle tickets from a tombola. There was no sign of Smithy.

The Fire Brigade had found another body on the top floor, and were bringing it down on the aerial platform. Cass went over, preparing herself for the worst. She tried to get a glimpse but couldn't make out who it was.

"What the 'ell's goin' on!" there was a voice behind her, she turned.

"Smithy! I thought you were…. Where did you go?"

"To see if I could find that little scroat. 'E's nicked me watch!" Smithy was still annoyed, but looking at what was left of his flat, decided he had more pressing problems than a stolen twenty quid watch. "Just wait till I get me 'ands on 'im! All I wanted was a kip!"


End file.
